Move on. Six letters, two words, easy to pronounce but really hard to do. Sometimes I caught myself staring at no where and thinking if why does it hurt me so much? Why it gives me pain that last for a long time?
Every night before I sleep, admittedly, I once wished to die instead because to wake up every morning without getting any messages from him broke me into pieces. To think that he’s already happy now without me slices my heart into two. I know it’s weird, yes, but I think that’s what love can do.
There are moments that I can’t avoid him for some reasons because we’re classmates until this next school year and besides we’re in the same circle of Barkada. I have to lie for myself and to others that I finally get over him every time we’re all together because my ego keeps on telling me that I need to look strong in front of them.
I laugh, I smile, I even talk to him just a little just to prove him that I already moved on. That I was also happy now, like him. It is hard, seriously!
Last night, we went to our friend’s Birthday! At first I am hesitating if I am going to talk to him. I even tried my best to avoid him until I heard him call my name. As I heard his voice pronouncing it, the feeling is surreal. Everything about us flashes back. Nostalgic feels.
His voice reminds me of how he thank me as I cheer him in his every game. I cheer him so loud for him to know that I was there, his number 1 fan, his number 1 supporter, his one and only cheerleader. His voice reminds me how he calls me Baby. And specially how he said all his sweet words before.
After a small talk, we both separate ways as I go back to the girls’ side and him to the other side. Every time our eyes meet, I remember the months I used to love him. But as I avoid his look, the one thing I keep on my mind is he’s already taken. Again. If you’ll listen to Ed Sheeran‘s song Happier, the song speaks for the whole story.
Our memories will stay forever on where it belong right now. I need to keep moving forward to finally get over him. At some point I was thinking if do I really still love him? Or I guess I just miss him? But yeah, what ever it was I want to go forward to get over him.
These pictures were screenshots from my Spoken Word Poetry “performance” way back last February 14, Valentines Day, wherein I performed the story behind everything. It is a school competition where he and my classmates encourage me to join just to express the burden inside me. I wrote it with my personal thoughts about him. Well it helps a lot. He said that he never expect that the outcome of my piece would be like that. He said sorry for everything before the day ends as he went in our house.
Anyways, I want to leave this quotation from my favorite cartoon The Book of Life,
“People come and people go but never be forgotten.“
Yes. He may be gone but I’ll never forget him.
Anyway, if you’re related with my Spoken Word Poetry piece ( I linked it there above ) mind sharing it or leave a comment to know your thoughts about it 🙂 It will makes me happy for real. Thank you!