I Guess I Just Miss Him

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Move on. Six letters, two words, easy to pronounce but really hard to do. Sometimes I caught myself staring at no where and thinking if why does it hurt me so much? Why it gives me pain that last for a Β long time?

Every night before I sleep, admittedly, I once wished to die instead because to wake up every morning without getting any messages from him broke me into pieces. To think that he’s already happy now without me slices my heart into two. I know it’s weird, yes, but I think that’s what love can do.

Β There are moments that I can’t avoid him for some reasons because we’re classmates until this next school year and besides we’re in the same circle of Barkada. I have to lie for myself and to others that I finally get over him every time we’re all together because my ego keeps on telling me that I need to look strong in front of them.

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I laugh, I smile, I even talk to him just a little just to prove him that I already moved on. That I was also happy now, like him. It is hard, seriously!

Last night, we went to our friend’s Birthday! At first I am hesitating if I am going to talk to him. I even tried my best to avoid him until I heard him call my name. As I heard his voice pronouncing it, the feeling is surreal. Everything about us flashes back. Nostalgic feels.

His voice reminds me of how he thank me as I cheer him in his every game. I cheer him so loud for him to know that I was there, his number 1 fan, his number 1 supporter, his one and only cheerleader. His voice reminds me how he calls me Baby. And specially how he said all his sweet words before.

After a small talk, we both separate ways as I go back to the girls’ side and him to the other side. Every time our eyes meet, I remember the months I used to love him. But as I avoid his look, the one thing I keep on my mind is he’s already taken. Again. If you’ll listen to Ed Sheeran‘s song Happier, the song speaks for the whole story.

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Our memories will stay forever on where it belong right now. I need to keep moving forward to finally get over him. At some point I was thinking if do I really still love him? Or I guess I just miss him? But yeah, what ever it was I want to go forward to get over him.

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These pictures were screenshots from my Spoken Word Poetry “performance” way back last February 14, Valentines Day, wherein I performed the story behind everything. It is a school competition where he and my classmates encourage me to join just to express the burden inside me. I wrote it with my personal thoughts about him. Well it helps a lot. He said that he never expect that the outcome of my piece would be like that. He said sorry for everything before the day ends as he went in our house.

Anyways, I want to leave this quotation from my favorite cartoon The Book of Life,

People come and people go but never be forgotten.

Yes. He may be gone but I’ll never forget him.

Anyway, if you’re related with my Spoken Word Poetry piece ( I linked it there above ) mind sharing it or leave a comment to know your thoughts about it πŸ™‚ It will makes me happy for real. Thank you!

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10 Comments

  1. I so feel you Junic, regardless of “I’m married now”. The feeling you have ahhh !! I felt that before and it sucks big time seeing him and knowing that he is happy with someone else… just stab me puhleezz… but anyways such a lovely piece… I love it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It gets better, don’t worry. πŸ™‚ You’ll find someone new when the time’s right! For now, cherish the memories, be thankful for the experience, and enjoy being single.

    Like

  3. I went through that same thing a long time ago. I know it’s hard and sometimes you think that you don’t know if you can really move on. But you will be able to. It may not be clear when or how, but it will happen. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Everything gets better over time, Jean. Sometimes we have to let go of things first before it completely wrecks us, and I swear that that’s for the better. Let’s enjoy freedom and life nalang muna since we’re too young para mainvolve sa ganyang mga situations, hehe. Maybe you’re too good for him. πŸ˜‰ Also, I love your contents. Mine are garbage.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love guru is back, hahaha lol. Noted πŸ˜ƒ I just realized why I missed him lately, it’s his birthday yesterday maybe that’s why. I don’t even remember his day, it’s maybe because I finally get over him na nga siguro sadyang may dapat lang akong sabihin pa for the last time. Hahaha anyways, your contents are good kaya πŸ˜ƒ if it’s not good, you’ll never reach this point wherein you already had lot of followers and for sure readers as well πŸ˜„ you’re inspiring in a way!

      Like

  5. I believe almost all of us at some point in time had gone through the pain you’re going through right now. But, i have good news for you, the pain you’re feeling now, will eventually go away and it will even make you a better person. So, cheers to moving on and new beginnings!😊

    Liked by 1 person

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